I hate you email app.

DAMMIT J.CREW
It is like they know when I am in my desperate hour of need.
When my willpower has hit a low point.
WHY?!?!

I hate you exam week.
I hate you credit card bill
And I HATE you J.Crew emails.

Okay so I have been eyeing this necklace for a few months now. Seriously when I say eyeing it I really mean stalking the absolute mess out of it to see when it goes on sale. So it finally, after three long months of waiting, went on sale. Did I buy it? NOPE. I was so freaking proud. Like more proud than a freshman high school student not falling down the stairs their first day. I had some awesome willpower going and I knew it. The daily emails kept taunting me "spend 150 and get 25% off" or "spend $250 and get 30% off!" I knew my limits and I stuck to them.

So what happened? Where did my official demise begin?
Well let me tell you it was not pretty. That is for sure.

So here I am minding my own freaking business then all of the sudden my phone makes that awful buzzing noise telling me I have yet another annoying email.
"BUZZZZzZzzzZZZ"
Okay so cool more match.com emails. Whatever. Delete. Delete. Del...
STOP.
"A single near you would like to get to know you"
HAHAH. Creepers.
delete. delete. delete delete delete delete.
Crappity crap, crap crap.
What was that J.Crew?
30% off??
Free shipping??
NO "YOU MUST SPEND THIS TO GET THIS PERCENT OFF?!?!?!
Oh my god Becky.
Heaven.

Well. There went my willpower and my next meal. Ramen sounds good for the next few days?

How could they do this to me? They KNEW my exams were this week. They knew my stress level it at an all time high. They know my bank account is dead. And they know my ex just found another girl before I did ( yes this makes me mad because I was supposed to be the one who found someone first!). Why would they hit me at my lowest point?! What is this madness.

Yes I bought the necklace.
....And a sweater (because it is cold in London. Duh.)
.................and some shoes..........(again. super cold. like brrrrrrr.)

I hate you, you stupid email application on my phone. You have been my ultimate demise. I HATE YOU.

Yoga Pants

So here is the deal.
I pride myself on being a somewhat fashionable person
Hopefully someone would tell me if it looked like my outfit got hit with the ugly stick.
And I always at least try to look presentable, in case I run into Ryan Gosling (swooooooon).
But during finals week all bets are OFF.

For example.
This morning I had to turn in a final at 8 AM. 8 am. I mean really who in the world gets up that early?! Plus I live at least 30 minutes away from campus which means I had to be up at the crack of dawn. UGH.
So here is what happens:
1. I roll out of bed. Literally do a barrel roll.
2. Drag myself to the bathroom to get ready while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes
    which turned out to be mascara and let me tell you that stuff freaking hurts like bee sting when it gets into        your eyes.
3. Throw on a bra and my yoga pants.
4. attempt to put on some makeup even though my eyes are still on fire.
5. Give up on makeup.
6. Throw up my hair into this pretty rough messy bun thing.
7. Run out the door because I am late and hop in my car to drive thirty minutes to turn a project for five minutes just to turn around and come back home. MOST POINTLESS DRIVE EVER.
8. Come home and go back to sleep.

Yeah so I looked like a hobo that really likes Victoria's Secret this morning.
Why VS? Because their yoga pants are AMAZING. That is why.

My brain is literally being fried and so is my fashion. Finals week is not for the faint of heart.
Literally.
The only time you will ever see me "bumming" it is when it is either finals week or I just got done teaching a Pilates class (yes I used to teach) but even with pilates at least my pants coordinate with my sports bra. During finals all color combos are on.

SO.
In case you were wondering why I have not posted in a while, mom, it is because it is finals week. AHHASDFAKLSDFLKASD.  That is my brain. Screaming in pain. I will give you an update in the end of just how many brain cells got fried thanks to my accounting exam.

This picture explains my studying habits:

New Years Dilemma

So I have a major problem.
And I mean major.
More major than "The Great Gatsby" movie getting pushed back another year.
We are talking MAJOR.

I do not have a New Year's Eve outfit.
See. Major issue.

So due to some recent events in my sucky love life it is CLEAR I am in need of a kick ass new year's dress. I mean I am talking a glittered crazed out hot as sin dress in a perfect hue and shade of some amazing color.
You would think with all of the millions of dresses out there it really would not be that hard to find the right one. WRONG. I made you a list of factors:

1. Price. This is problem number one because when you fall in love with a beautiful hip hugging, LBD number it is hard to walk away. It is like Louboutin shoes. They are probably the most perfect pair you have ever seen in your life but when you flip them over and see their $2500 price tag ON SALE you just have to walk away (for those of you who do not know what this is come out from under your stupid rock and google it.) But even for those of us that are recovered shopoholics it is still an extremely hard gesture.

2. Length, yes this should be a factor. It is incredibly hard finding a dress between the lengths of Amish and is longer than your underwear. you do not want to be asked where someone can find the nearest retirement home on new years. That being said you also do not want a prostitute telling me to put some clothes on. Now that is when you know you have some self esteem issues (see Ugly Christmas Sweater blog for more information).

3. Sparkles. If your dress puts Taylor Swift's to shame, you probably have too many.

4. Cleavage ratio. Lets try and keep it classy please. It is embarrassing enough when a celebrity has a nip slip but when you do it is just plain sad. Keep it in your dress please. Pam Anderson should not be your muse on a somewhat dignified holiday.

5.  Color. Honestly just stay away from the pea greens please.

So there you have it. These five factors, along with many others, are what keep me in line with trying to buy a dress. With all of these things constantly plotting against one another the search for a dress because more of a Sparta challenge.

Sorry this post is so short and a little less witty than normal. I am too busy shamelessly searching the internet for that perfect party dress. So far? No luck. It is going to be a long night.

Damn. I forgot one major freaking factor...

6. SHAPE. of the dress of course.
What to pick? Do you want to be super trendy and go for the come back once every ten years peplum? Do you want to play it safe with the always in style but kind of boring A-Line? What about the cutout? And long sleeve or short sleeve??? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO PICK?! AHHHHHHHHHHH.
Commence Stress level through the roof.

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

So I returned those leopard  print pants
And I learned how to ride a bike all in one day.
If you count a super weird mini bike that made my legs stick out and do this weird grasshopper thing.
Woah!

Yeah so I finally returned them. They were so adorable but I am really proud of myself  for saying no. NO pants you will NOT own me. I am the stronger person. I am the alpha dog!!

Okay so actually,
I almost cried when I had to give them up.

That was possibly one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. I loved those pants, I felt a connection with them. Then I have to return them like this?? It is the saddest thing in the world, well besides like cancer and my savings account. It was a very sad day in my world none the less. BUT I am super proud of myself!


So getting back to the topic "ugly sweater parties" I will explain to you all that read this, which is my mom and my bestfriend (HI MOM), exactly why I am so interested in ugly Christmas sweaters.

1. Because come on if you can pull off a hideous turtlenecked out lights dancing reindeer with bows all over it sweater you can pull off pretty much anything.
   -Some of you really can not pull off anything so please do not try. This blog does not make it okay for you         to wear something that would make your grandmother cry. Although in my case my grandmother pretty much cries every time she sees what color my hair is that month. Mean old bat.

2. It is pretty hilarious really. I went to an ugly Christmas sweater party and the dude's sweater had a pocket for candy canes. How hilarious is that!? It is basically a sweater for Americans. Like "look ma' I can sit on the couch wearing my christmasy sweater with old sandy clause on it and have a pouch for my beer and my candy canes!" See. HILARIOUS.

3. It shows you have a pretty kick ass outlook of yourself. If you are not afraid to wear your polyester holiday sweater with it's glorious cats batting at santa's jolly sleigh then you madam, or sir for you josh! <3, have some serious self esteem issues. You need to up the "beautiful" by Christina Aguilera and get your sassy gay friend on!

4. Let the inner hipster come out. They are all hidden somewhere inside of us, as much as you hate to admit it. Occasionally they like to show themselves with your 105 degree white chocolate peppermint latte no whip from starbucks or from your tacky christmas sweater. Let them out! They need to be free, although you did "free" so six years ago.
  -Side note: Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee?
    because he drank it before it was cool.
     hahahahhahhaha HA HAhuh ha.... welll then.

So there you have it.
Look how classy this beautiful sweater is!
Just look at the majesticness!
Damn.

FOUR, not three but FOUR amazing reasons why a tacky christmas sweater is a must this holiday season. So get out there fellow crazed shopoholics and start stalking some Goodwills!

Do I really need leopard print pants?

Seriously.
It is a legit question.
Do I really need those leopard print pants?

So first off I would like to point out yes these pants are leopard print but they are probably the most comfortable pants in the world. Plus they are from the Loft, where I work, which automatically makes them at least stylish. Okay, Okay. They are defiantly a trend and according to my amazing Retail professor, Dr. Boggs, trends fade out fast. It is in her top ten rules of fashion. But come on these are like stepping into a little marshmellow fluff of heaven and besides doesn't cheetah print come back every fall?

See this is my problem. Again the day to day inner conflicts have been brought up. I have this amazing talent where I can justify anything, just ask one of my ex's. It is no longer I want said leopard print pants it is I NEED these because I have to dress for work and what better to do than to where the product. Right? They are super comfy pants for when I am having one of my dreaded "fat days." Right? In London everyone has this edgy almost punk rocker but still super fashionable thing going on and I need to look like a Londoner and not some fellow tourist. Right?? See. I have a problem with justifying EVERYTHING. Plus I get an amazing discount on these pants because Loft really wants their employees to wear their product. But side night they also just got reduced which means they will be $4 less than what I originally paid for them! See, I need these!!

Okay so I bought them...

What usually comes after my lack of will power is my horrible guilt trip. Sometimes I even have these horrible nightmares about my purchases. Again my life is super sad. Most people dream about horrible things happening to loved ones and I dream about not being able to fit everything in my suitcase and over drafting my bank account ( which is something you should NEVER do. I mean why in the world would you want to pay the banks even more money?? It is the biggest scam!!!!! For more rants on why banks are horrible please message me.) ANYWAYS. Man I really need to work on this whole distraction thing. Pants. Leopard print pants. Got it. So this huge guilt trip things starts up and it actually really stresses me out. That being said though I normally keep what ever I purchased, mostly because I hate driving and having to take things back, but I do stress out about it much longer than necessary. IT SUCKS. I even ask people for second opinions on if I should keep said article of clothing but to be honest my friends and family are horrible at helping with this because they just tell me the reasons of why I SHOULD keep it. So again there goes my bank account and my happy stress free day.

For those suffering from shopoholism you understand this.
For those that aren't: please never allow yourself to get into this situation. It really does cause a lot of pain and suffering.

ps. I just ate my weight in rice chips, the Zen Party Trail Mix from Target to be exact and if you haven't tried it AVOID AT ALL COSTS because it is the most addicting thing (besides shopping) you will ever have in your life, and now I am going to have one of my "fat days." Maybe I will wear those pants after all. Hmmmm.

Christmas rant 1

November 28th 2012

So as you all know by the millions of commercials and annoying mall carolers it is almost christmas time. Which means.... DUN DUN DUHHHHH
It is officially okay for me to spend money on wants... sort of. Yes I  realize I am rationalizing being a shopaholic.

Well let me begin by ranting. We can get to fashion in a little bit:
This is the absolute hardest time of the year for those suffering from shopoholism. Why?  Every where you look things are screaming "buy me! buy me!"  and you are having to avoid eye contact and try to tune them out. Every where you look some thing is advertising the latest product "Oh My God a coffee maker, toaster over, and fryer all in one?! who does that?!" to "cashmere sweater" something is trying to make you purchase it. For people with little will power, me, it is so hard to walk away. I buy more random crap that I really do not need this time of year than any other. Plus the fact if you do not have a significant other this time of year it makes you even more sad which in turn makes you buy even more stuff but whatever. I mean it's not like you couldn't have a significant other. Or you did at one point but they "suck at relationships." Let me fill you in on a little secret: flowers. Just buy the freaking person flowers! Is it seriously that hard? Seriously?! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!

Woah.
Where did that come from? I mean what?!
Uhhh this is kind of awkard now. I'll just get back into the Christmas rant...

Back to the whole marketers are evil rant, even though I am in business school as a marketing major, EVIL. On top of  them adding amazing signage and promotions everywhere they add sparkles and glitter EVERYWHERE. This does not help shopoholics because we absolutely love shiny and sparkly things. I guess in that sense we are kind of like raccoons but it is okay because they are adorable little fuzzy beings and one day I plan to own one even though my mom says it will try to eat me. Back to sparkles, they are EVERYWHERE. The other day I bought a $12 nail polish just because it was glittery and beautiful.

End of story. This time of year sucks for my mental state and my banking account.

Fashion after a very short summery of why I hate this time of year.
Today I have learned the art of looking in your closet. I found this really pretty garnet anthropologie skirt that I have had for god knows how long and I pulled it out. To be completely frank I bought this skirt on a whim and have never worn it but now that I have started this blog I am determined to spend less and work with what I've got. In a matter of ten minutes I found a shirt, bracelet, AND belt that paired perfectly with it. Granted I just bought the shirt at the begging of the fall season but whatever they pair perfectly together. See simple. I need to work with what I've got. I was doing really well. I went to class and was feeling really confident and happy with what I had accomplished when suddenly...

30% off J.Crew or 25% when you spend $150 or more.

DAMN DAMN DAMMIT!

Why J.Crew?! Why would you do this to me?? I have been doing so well! I haven't bought anything from you in a week and now this! How could you betray me so?! I really do think those marketers specifically have it out for me. "Oh so Mevy has not bought anything from us in a week? This needs to change. BAMN 30% off sale." Again, DAMN. My phone is sitting right next to me and I am trying so hard not to stalk the website so I am furiously pounding on the keyboard for a distraction. In reality I probably look like a crazed lunatic but it is almost finals on campus so people probably think I am just one of those that crack under pressure (which isn't true. I actually strive!), My obsession is trying to get the better of me but I refuse to let it. My palms are starting to sweat and my ability to make decisions is getting more and more skewed. And they just sent me another email on my student address. Man they are really making this difficult.Okay just one peak at the website. I mean one peak can't hurt right?!

Wrong.
So incredibly wrong.

An Introduction

Let me Introduce myself

Hmmm... Where to begin?
Well I could start with my J.Crew obsession.
Eh. First I need to give you guys a little bit of background information on how said obsession with J.Crew and fashion in general came about.

My love for fashion began at an extremely young age when I refused to wear absolutely nothing but a dress, about a month into it I decided a skirt was okay just as long as my tights were under it. I was a very difficult child if you can tell. I knew from the moment I took my first step it was clear I was an independent thinker.

My Aunt CeCe, who is a crazy, was actually the one that really projected this obsession with dresses. She was always my cool, hippie, rocker aunt that had oodles of money and a keen sense of style. She was the one that delivered me my first dress. A cute corduroy navy dress with girly colored flowers all over it, believe me this was extremely fashionable for the 90's. It was love at first sight. I put on the dress and felt on overwhelming sense of belonging, which in turn is really sad because this was probably the moment where my future bank account had a seizer, a sense of oh my god I feel like a movie star moment. After that my poor parents were done for. As  their bank account dwindled on clothes for me and stuffed animals for my sister I felt the need for more. More barbies, more clothes, more shoes, more tights! Looking back I actually feel bad for them. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into when they had me. Do you now see why I call my fashion an obsession?

So here I am deciding to write a blog for everyone describing my daily inner conflicts of "No, Mevy you really do not need that shirt. No you do not. NO. Just keep walking" to justifying it " Yes I do need this shirt because not only will it look awesome with my high wasted hunter green skirt it will also pair really well with my betsey necklace." It is actually a very complicated process and usually my want gives into my need. "I want these Kate Spade flats" turns into "I need these Kate Spade flats for my skinnies and that one top I bought that one time that I don't have shoes for." Yeah I know. I have a slight bit of a problem. Well maybe not a slight bit but you know...Kate Spade shoes....

Speaking of shoes....Mom if you are going to read this I really do need those flats. It is posted on my Pinterest under "Sparkle and Shine," which is my Christmas list. Just saying.

Anyways if you are reading this you can already see I have a major problem. My bank account is more sad than a cow stuck in the fence. Oh and yeah I am from the south. Do not mind the weird random southern sayings I throw in here. But my problem is my constant struggle of buying amazing, beautiful, wonderful, clothes and with my sad little financial  standpoint. And in case you were wondering yes my name is Mevy, or Mevysen if you want to get all formal and what not, and I am suffering from shopaholism.